Cultural Contrasts Parenting in Spain: Bridging Cultural Differences
As an expat parent in Barcelona, you’ll embark on one of the most profound journeys. You must balance the differences between the parenting approach you grew up with and the Spanish way of raising children. You will also need to redefine these differences. After years of supporting families through this transition, I’ve observed patterns that both challenge and enrich the expat parenting experience. Today, I’m sharing insights on bridging these cultural differences. The cultural contrasts parenting in Spain you come across will be the best teachers for you and your little ones. In turn, this will help you find your own balanced approach to raising third-culture kids in Barcelona. It is truly a gift we give them.
The Spanish Approach: Sense of Community
The Late Schedule
The first shock for many expat parents is the Spanish schedule. Yes, we all know the famous dinnertime at 9 or 10 PM which is amazing for vacation or for couples without kids. However, did you know that this schedule is often applicable to children, too? In Spain, children often stay up until 10 PM or even later. This is especially true during summer when families enjoy the cooler evening temperatures together in plazas and outdoor restaurants. This contrasts sharply with the 7-8 PM bedtimes common in the US and UK.
The upside: Children are fully integrated into family social life. They are not shuttled off to bed while adults continue their evening. Spanish children learn to function in adult settings and develop social skills through these extended family gatherings.
The challenge: Many expat parents worry about their children not getting enough sleep. They struggle with adapting to this schedule. They must also maintain work commitments that align more with Anglo schedules.
Public Affection
Spanish culture embraces children in public spaces in ways that might surprise newcomers. Strangers might comment on your child in front of your child, touch their cheeks, or offer unsolicited advice.
The upside: There’s a wonderful “it takes a village” mentality where children are seen as everyone’s responsibility. Your child will rarely be viewed as an inconvenience in restaurants or public places.
The challenge: This can feel invasive if you come from a culture where children’s personal space is more protected and parental authority is less commonly questioned by outsiders.
Educational Differences
Academic vs. Social-Emotional Focus
The Spanish educational approach often emphasizes social development alongside academics, particularly in the early years.
The upside: Spanish schools typically foster strong social skills, emotional intelligence, and group cohesion. Children learn to navigate social structures early and develop strong friendship bonds.
The challenge: Some expat parents find there’s less academic pressure in the early years than they’re accustomed to, particularly around reading milestones and structured learning before age 6.
Homework and Extracurriculars
Spanish schools often assign little to no homework, but have longer school days than many expats expect. Homework is generally in the form of a longer project to prioritize the culmination of several subjects and skills.
The upside: Family time is prioritized, and children have more free time for unstructured play and family activities.
The challenge: The mid-afternoon finish time (often 4-5 PM) can be challenging for working parents, requiring additional childcare or afterschool activities, but this happens across cultures.
Discipline and Boundaries
Permissive vs. Structured Approaches
Many expats observe that Spanish parenting can appear more permissive than they’re accustomed to, with flexible boundaries around behavior in public spaces.
The upside: Children develop autonomy and social confidence. There’s less stress around perfect behavior in public, allowing for more relaxed family outings.
The challenge: Different expectations around noise levels, mealtime behavior, and public conduct can create tension when different parenting cultures meet.
Physical Affection and Expression
Spanish culture values physical affection and emotional expression, including in discipline contexts.
The upside: Children are raised in emotionally expressive environments where feelings aren’t suppressed, paired with abundant physical affection.
The challenge: The directness of feedback or criticism might feel harsh to those from cultures where criticism is more cushioned or delivered privately.
Food and Mealtimes
Food as Connection
Mealtimes across Spain are sacred social experiences rather than just functional nutrition breaks.
The upside: Children develop sophisticated palates and learn that meals are about connection, not just consumption. Spanish children typically eat the same foods as adults rather than having separate “kids’ meals.”
The challenge: The late dinner hour (often 9 pm) and lengthy restaurant meals can test the patience of parents accustomed to earlier, shorter dining experiences with children.
Finding Your Balance: Creating a Third-Culture Parenting Style
After observing hundreds of expat families navigate these differences as well as facing these challenges every day personally, I’ve found that the most successful approaches embrace a blended style that takes the best from both worlds:
- Adopt the social integration, but mark the boundaries that : Embrace the Spanish openness to including children in social gatherings and public life, even if you maintain an earlier bedtime than local families. This has worked for us, especially as we are the ones who know our little one and her needs. And she definitely needs a lot of sleep at night. That’s not to say we don’t have the occasional late night, especially in the summer or for parties, but we must be prepared for the consequences.
- Maintain your core values: Identify which aspects of your home culture’s parenting approach matter most to you, and preserve those while being flexible in areas less crucial to your parenting philosophy.
- Consider the long view: Remember that your children are developing valuable cross-cultural skills and adaptability that will serve them throughout life.
- Connect with diverse parent friends: Build relationships with both local and expat parents to gain different perspectives and support.
- Practice cultural curiosity: When you encounter parenting approaches that feel foreign, get curious before getting judgmental. Ask local friends to help you understand the cultural context behind practices you find challenging.
Celebrating the Blend
The beauty of raising children across cultures is the opportunity to create something new—a family culture that honors your origins while embracing your new home. My own children have benefited immensely from the Spanish emphasis on social connection and family togetherness, while still maintaining some of the structure and expectations from our home culture.
Remember that your children are not just adapting to Spain—they’re becoming true global citizens with the ability to navigate different cultural expectations with ease. That adaptability is perhaps the greatest gift of the expat parenting journey.
What aspects of Spanish parenting have you embraced or found challenging? Share your experiences in the comments below!
